Camera Shy
by DreadWombat
Summary: Adam was able to escape the bathroom trap. Soon he meets the woman with the "rockstar"-hairstyle again and finds out who she really is. But the revealed truth about her does not change the fact that Adam falls head over heels for her. Adam X Amanda
1. Prologue

~ Prologue ~

His eyes met hers, as he walked through the dark corridor. All of a sudden everything became clear.

_She_ was the girl with the "rockstar hair".

_She _saved him from his trap. However, _She_ also tried to strangle him.

But the most important fact was, that _she_ was the woman he fell in love with.


	2. Still in the shadows?

Adam Faulkner lay on his bed. It was just another sleepless night.

A month had passed since Adam had escaped the bathroom-trap, but so far, there had been no day he could go without thinking about what happened to him.

Actually, his escape had been easy, _ridiculously _easy.

He remembered that he had woken up some time after the test was over and had found himself lying on the floor WITHOUT the chain around his foot.

And the bathroom door stood wide open. Adam knew that at first he had thought he was dreaming.

But fortunately he wasn't, so he had left the building. Nobody had been there, nobody had tried to stop him.

Adam sighed. Even though he was safe now, something still bugged him. He assumed that someone had saved him and this person, whoever it was, was with him before he had fallen unconscious.

He felt like he had forgotten something really important, but he couldn't help but admit that he just wouldn't remember.

He sighed. _It's no use wasting my time trying to remember_, he thought. _All that's important is that I''m alive. Nothing else matters."_

Adam thought about what Jigsaw had said:

"_Up until now you've simply sat in the shadows, watching others live out their lives_."

That's what he still did, wasn't it? He had heard on TV that the few survivors of Jigsaw's traps had changed and lived another life today.

But did he learn anything? He didn't feel like he did. All he felt since he escaped the trap was an emptiness inside of him.

The sun rose and Adam realized that he hadn't slept all night. But he didn't care, he had no plans for today, so he could just sleep when he would get tired.

Like any other day, Adam spent the day asking himself question he couldn't possibly answer.

Who released him? Jigsaw? Why?

If it wasn't Jigsaw, who else?

If it was someone else, did Jigsaw know that Adam was free?

He didn't really pass his test, so would Jigsaw try to put him into another trap?

Adam wondered why he was not concerned to be put into another trap, since he didn't learn his lesson the last time.

But he wasn't nervous or scared, he just felt this annoying dissatisfaction and the desire to remember who saved his life.

He wanted to himself from thinking about all this Jigsaw-stuff, so he decided to take a walk outside.

Adam was just about to leave, when he remembered that he was posted as missing. He couldn't just go out in the public, at least not without causing trouble.

"Looks like I'm locked in here for a while." he said bad-tempered.

Then he saw his old camera lying on the table. Adam picked it up to take a look at the pictures he made.

However, there was only one photo.

His eyes widened in surprise. The photo showed a young woman with a wild hairstyle, going up the stairs.

Adam remembered promptly what happened this day:

He had commented on her "rockstar" hair and asked her if he could take a picture.

While staring at the photo, Adam smiled for the first time since he had escaped the trap.


	3. DéjàVu

**Chapter 2**

Some days later, Adam planned how he could leave his apartment without being noticed, because he definitely needed to be distracted.

He opened his fridge and took out an apple, though he wasn't hungry at all, he needed something to do.

When he tried to swallow a mouthful of apple, he choked on it and it sticked in his throat.

Adam panicked as he couldn't breathe anymore.

He got down on his knees and choked. This feeling of suffocating was somehow familiar to him...

Everything went black and then a scene appeared in his mind.

_He could hear a woman's voice._

_"I'll help you, Adam. I'll help you."_

_She was crying and he wanted to turn around, so he could see her face._

_Before he was able to move, she put a plastic bag around his head until the lack of oxygen made him pass out._

Adam was finally able to spit the piece of apple out.

He stood up, feeling a little dizzy.

Terrified, he realized that someone had tried to kill him, to _strangle _him.

He had forgotten more than he had assumed.

_What the hell_ had happened to him in this bathroom, before he escaped?

* * *

Sorry for this short, crappy chapter ^^'' But I can't wait to write Amanda's POV :D


	4. Cure for Empathy?

**Chapter 3**

"Amanda, could you help me with this ... device?"

"Sure, John."

Amanda moved beside him, smiling to hide the uncertainty she still had while being around him, even though she lived in with him in the old factory building for a few months already.

John looked at her, frowning. She tried to avoid eye contact by looking at the device he was building.

"Um... What's that?"

The trap consisted of two metal masks, opposite from each other, each mask had several nails protruding inwards from the interior.

"It's a mask similar to the iron maiden, you could call it a Venus Fly Trap. It is connected to a timer, if it isn't removed in time, the two masks will clamp together." John talked in an apathetic way, while Amanda already begun to feel sympathy for the victim, that will be put into this trap.

She suppressed a shiver and nodded.

"I see... Er... You asked for help?"

"Yes, could you please hold the one part of the mask in place, while I fix the other part?"

Amanda nodded again and hoped he would hurry up. She couldn't stand this embarrassing silence.

"Thank you.", he said as he was finally finished. Amanda stood up and headed out of the room - at least she tried to, because when she reached the door, he said: "Where are you going?"

Without turning around, she answered: "Um... I think I'll take a walk."

"Why? You have done that just before an hour."

'_Shut up! SHUT UP! '_, she thought.

"Yeah, but I feel like going outside..." Her voice was shaking.

Amanda left the room and shut the door behind her, before John was able to ask her anything more.

She had a bad feeling about her behaviour, but she needed to avoid with all costs, that he asked her about Adam.

Amanda had tried to suffocate him, because she felt sorry for him and did not want him to die a slow death.

But she failed, she just couldn't _kill _him and so she released him, removed the chain and left the door open.

She did not obey her mentor John, who told her Adam wasn't worth the life he was given.

Despite her unconditional loyalty to John Kramer, she couldn't bear watching Adam suffering.

Amanda had a bad conscience and knew she could no longer lie to John, so she avoided his presence, just to prevent herself from telling him the truth.

What would he think about her? He always considered her empathy as a weakness, but he thought that she could overcome it eventually.

It was clear to Amanda that there was no way letting him know about her betrayal!

She left the factory building. It was already dark outside and very cold, but she didn't bother putting on a jacket.

Looking up to the sky, she wondered where Adam was at the moment.

_I hope he is fine! And hopefully far away from here ..._


	5. Absentminded

**Note : Thanks for all the reviews so far =)**

**Btw, I made a video about Adam X Amanda with a song called "Camera Shy". This is actually where I got the idea for this fanfic :D**

**- youtube (.) com/watch?v=EvMQsbFo0n8**

**Oh, and sorry for this veeery short chapter -_-'' Next one will be better ;D**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Inside Amanda's room, everything was dark. From the other side of the door, she could hear John's voice, he was talking to his ex-wife, Jill Tuck.

Amanda understood some of the words, but she had no idea what they were talking about in detail and she didn't really care.

Not being able to sleep, she tried to organize her thoughts.

_Okay, John is kind of busy at the moment. Finally I can decide what to do... _

She thought about the mess she was in and came to the conclusion that there was nothing else to do than behaving unsuspiciously and pretending nothing unusual had happened.

That was easier said than done, because Amanda was sure that John already assumed that something was the matter with her.

And she didn't even know if she was _able _to keep quiet about releasing Adam.

After all, John was her saviour and the most important person to her.

How could she possibly lie to him?

She sighed. Actually, there was _nothing _she could do. John would find out anyway why she was so secretive at the moment.

Now she just hoped he would forgive her, but she was much more worried about Adam than herself. He didn't pass his test, still he was alive. Would John insist on testing him again?

For a moment, she wished she would have never released Adam. It would have spared her so much trouble.

_Am I regretting my decision now?_

Amanda thought about how she would have felt if she had just let him die and remembered the sharp pain of guilt inside of her.

_No. It was the right decision. Now I have to live with it._

The next day, Amanda tried not to avoid John. She helped him with some 'traps' and he shortly explained to her, why Jill wanted to talk to him the day before and Amanda was able to avoid any deeper conversations with him.

Yet she knew it was only a matter of time until he would find out about Adam.

"Amanda?"

"Yes, John, what is it?" She nervously bit her lip. There was no way he found out already...?

"Are you fine? You seem to be a absent-minded at the moment."

Amanda nodded. "Yeah, John. Everything's fine. I guess I've just been tired recently..."

Of course she was aware that John would not accept that as an answer, he knew her too well to believe that tiredness would prevent her from devoting herself to do whatever he asked her to do.

But he did not ask any further questions.

Amanda felt so guilty as she realized that although John was sure she was keeping a secret, he trusted her enough to deal with it on her own.

_Well, maybe I _can _deal with it on my own!, _she thought, leaving the room.

_I can't stop thinking about Adam as long as I don't know if he's safe, so I will just find him and make sure he's okay. Then everything will be fine and back to normal again!_

Amanda didn't know yet, that she was totally mistaken about this.


	6. Sneaking out

**Chapter 5**

Amanda got up early and left the building immediately. She hoped that she would be able to return before John woke up, so she wouldn't have to lie to him again. But she was prepared and in case he would want to know where she had been, she'd just have to come up with an excuse.

_I really hope this will be the last time I _ever_ have to lie to John!_

Amanda sneaked out of the room and closed the door as quietly as possible.

It was still dark outside. She froze on the spot as the cold air made her realize she had forgotten to put on a jacket.

"Fuck!" she hissed. Going back inside to get a jacket was too risky, so she had no choice but going without it.

Shivering, she left the factory site and headed for the town center, because she remembered vague where Adam lived.

_What if he doesn't live there anymore? _

She had actually no idea where to look for him apart from his apartment.

_In fact, he would be better off if he would have gone far away..._

_But then I could never see him again, never see him _alive.

Amanda was quite relieved that there weren't many people on the streets that early. But it was only a matter of time until everyone would leave their houses to go to work and this place would be crowded in no time. Amanda was not very keen on meeting someone who knew her.

Though, the chances to meet a person who knew her well enough to recognize her even with short hair were pretty small.

It took her longer than expected to find the house he lived in, but now she stood finally in front of the door. She remembered that behind it was a corridor with stairs leading to some apartments, including Adam's flat.

She took the chance to go inside as someone opened the door to get out of the house.

Once she was inside, she looked around, recognizing the stairway, where she had met Adam before. It had been the day she kidnapped him, like John instructed her to do. The memory made her shiver.

He had been so _nice_ to her and yet it was her fault, that he was confronted with so many horrible things later.

Amanda realized that she had gone upstairs without thinking.

she found herself standing in front of the doorway to his apartment.

She stood there and did nothing. Of course she couldn't just knock on the door...

_Can I?_

She had planned everything, but she never thought she would actually get this far. It had never even crossed her mind what she would do if she would _really_ find his apartment.

_Guess I messed up..._

Still too confused to move, she stood rooted to the ground.

...

_Okay, I screwed it up. Maybe that was not a good idea after all..._

She already considered returning, as the door opened -

With a cold shiver of dread, she realized that she was standing right in front of Adam Faulkner.


	7. Reunion

**Chapter 6**

As Adam stared at her in surprise, Amanda thought about what she could do now.

There was no point in running away, even though this option was very tempting.

'_Come on, THINK, Amanda!_'. She desperately tried to find the right words.

She forced herself to look at him, ready to apologize, but she could barely form a clear thought.

"Um..." was all she said.

_What am I supposed to do now? _Her legs were shaking as she nervously bit her lip.

She expected Adam to say something, but he remained silent for a while.

Some time later (for Amanda, it felt like hours later) he smiled slightly.

"So, are you going to explain why you're here, or do you expect me to wait all day?"

"Er - I'm s-sorry. I just looked for -"

'_... you'_, she added in her thoughts.

She gained back her concentration and continued:

"I was looking for someone else - Sorry."

Giving him no chance to reply, she spun around and hurried to get away, feeling his gaze in her back while she went through the dark corridor.

She did not stop until she reached the familiar factory building, where she could organize her thoughts.

Feeling exhausted, she leaned against a fence. Only one thought crossed her mind:

_Adam is alive. Alive and fine._

When Amanda lay in her bed in the evening, she admitted that their encounter had been anything but helpful for either of them, not for her -because she still couldn't stop worrying about Adam- and not for him, because she had not warned him.

She even doubted he had recognized her.

Amanda was angry with herself, angry for not being able to get rid of these feelings.

_Maybe I can't forget about him until he really leaves this town... Maybe I should really warn him..._

Irritated by her foolish empathy, she abandoned this idea immediately. _What am I thinking? I should be glad, that John didn't notice my absence today, instead of planning when to sneak out again!_

As her eyes closed, the unbearable image of Adam's surprised face burst into her mind. Her heart began to pound, but exhaustion took over and she finally retreated into the refuge of sleep.


	8. Spy or Rockstar?

**Chapter 7**

Amanda tried to be as quiet as possible as she stalked through the factory building the next day. Meanwhile, John was busy with building a new trap, so she wasn't highly concerned that he would catch her sneaking out again - unless he would need her help later.

On the other hand, she was not _really_ sneaking out, because he had told her to keep track of the person who would later be put into the trap he was building. But all the time Amanda found herself considering if she could 'visit' Adam again, and this time she would try talking to him!

Feeling guilty, Amanda tried to convince herself that her reasons for sneaking out had nothing to do with Adam this time.

_Seriously, I need to forget about him, otherwise John may find out that he's alive soon!_

She left the familiar factory building, determined to concentrate on the tasks John wanted her to do.

_**-Adam's POV-**_

Adam was staring at the photo, showing the rockstar-hair-woman.

The woman he met last night - there was no way it was her... was it?

But the more he tried to convince himself that the rockstar-hair-woman and the mysterious-visitor-woman were not the same person, the more he became aware of how ridiculous he was trying to deny it.

Adam's memory carried him back to when he first met her.

_"I'll see you there! ... Y'know what, I'm NOT gonna see you there am I?"_

"_Probably not."_

Adam had first interpreted her brief answers as shyness, but thinking about it now, Adam felt like she had behaved suspiciously strange.

_Had she been deliberately _spying _on me?_

_No... What am I thinking..._

Though there were lots of reasons for distrusting the 'whatever-her-name is-woman', Adam couldn't help but wanting to meet her again.

The sudden noises of rainfall outside interrupted his thoughts. He went over to the window and watched the storm outside.

_**- Amanda's POV-**_

After observing the person she was supposed to keep an eye on, she headed back for the factory building. She was freezing since it had started to rain hard and the pouring rain made it nearly impossible for her to see where she was going.

Some minutes later, she stopped, exhausted and drenched with rain.

Trying to orientate herself she looked around - her heartbeat stopped for a moment, as she found herself in front of Adam's apartment.

_Damn! _she thought. _And I tried SO hard not to come here!_

_**-Adam's POV-**_

He was still looking through the window, when he could make out a person outside. He didn't recognize who it was, but then he saw her short hair...

_This isn't ... _he thought _It can't possibly be ... _

But it was her. Though she looked different with wet hair, he was now able to see her face.

_There's no doubt, this person really _is_ her! She is outside in this hard rain! And it's obviously not very comfortable out there..._

Without thinking, he left his apartment and ran outside.

_**- Amanda's POV-**_

Amanda was still standing in front of the building. She was shivering and felt very sick by now.

_Seriously, what the fuck am I doing here? Standing around won't change a thing and John will wonder why I haven't returned yet!_

She was just about to leave this place - but then her eyes widened in shock, as somebody grabbed her wrist and pulled her inside the house.


	9. Just Saving You

**(Sorry for this SHORT chapter D: )**

**Chapter 8**

Amanda gasped in shock when Adam pulled her inside the house.

He shut the door behind them and she immediately broke away from him.

Amanda stared at him, too shocked to organize her thoughts. All she managed to say was: "W-What do you think you are doing?"

Adam avoided her gaze. "Um... Saving you from freezing to death?", he answered awkwardly.

"I - I wasn't freezing to d-death..." She tried to sound convincing, but her voice quavered and she was shivering with cold.

"Yeah sure..." he said, smiling. Amanda could hear the amusement in his voice.

"What a coincidence that I keep meeting you here!", he continued sarcastically, but in a warm voice.

Amanda couldn't find the right words to answer and remained silent.

_Damn, It was not a good idea to come here!_

"Would you mind explaining to me why that is?", Adam remained defiant.

_He just won't give up!_

Annoyed, she turned away and was about to open the door and leave.

"Wait a sec!"

Adam's insistent voice made her freeze. Reluctantly she turned around. The smile on his face was gone, replaced by a desperate look on his face.

"Don't go... I really _must _know!"

Amanda sighed. _You don't WANT_ _to know why I'm here... But I wish I could tell you..._

The sad look on her face seemed to have startled him. He took some steps backwards and nearly stumbled as he reached the stairs.

She almost smiled, but the dark expression returned in an instant.

"Look..." Adam began, hesitating as if he was searching for the right words.

"You could stay in my apartment... I mean... until the rain stops...?"

Amanda was speechless.

_No! I can't! I have to return to John...now!_

She shook her head, but meanwhile, she took a step towards Adam. She found herself following him upstairs.

_What am I doing? _

Her reason seemed to fight against her gut feeling, that told her to follow him.

_It's probably insane, but... What harm can it do? _


	10. I Wish I Could Tell You

**Chapter 9**

Adam led rockstar-hair-woman inside of his apartment and told her to sit down on his bed. "What's your name?" he asked. She looked on the ground, as if considering whether she could tell him.

"Amanda" she answered quietly.

The situation was very embarrassing, since both of them kept silent for a while. Adam forced himself to offer her a cup of tea or coffee. She shook her head, still trembling in every limb, so he decided to make her tea anyway.

After he handed her the teacup, he was about to sit down next to her, but thought that she would probably feel uncomfortable with him beside her, made him change his mind: He sat down on a chair on the other side of the room. She took reluctantly a nip and said, scarcely audible: "Thank you."

"Well?" Adam prompted when Amanda had been silent for several moments.

She blinked. "I- I'm sorry" she began haltingly. "I'm afraid I can't tell you what you want to hear."

Adam sighed, almost annoyed, if she hadn't looked so ... fearful.

"Okay, but can you tell me ANYTHING?"

She looked up for a moment. "Like what?"

"Like... Why are you here?"

"Because you thought I was freezing to death?" Adam caught a glimpse of amusement in her eyes. She looked a little bit more confident now.

"Okay, so why WERE you freezing to death in front of MY apartment?"

"You see... A couple of days ago, when we met in the corridor, I have been here deliberately-"

"Why?" Adam interrupted her. He saw a nervous flickering in her eyes, but she ignored his question.

"As for today" she continued "I was here for... other reasons."

Adam looked at her curiously. "You know, the more you say, the more it feels like you are keeping many secrets."

"I'm sorry!" she whimpered.

Adam began feeling bad for asking her all these things. She was looking miserably helpless now. He took a deep breath.

_I just hope she hasn't got anything to do with... the trap._

"Hey, the rain hasn't stopped yet, looks like you will have to stay here the night!"

Horror gleamed in Amanda's eyes as she looked up, and Adam, for all his sympathy, couldn't hold back laughter. "Relax! I was joking!"

They were silent for a while, then Adam said: "I have the strong suspicion, that you know more about me, than I know about _you_."

"Probably true" she admitted.

"Well, what _do _you know about me?"

"Not that much."

"You really _are _secretive!"

Amanda shook her head, as though shaking would clear it.

"Why shouldn't I be? I'm inside an apartment of a _stranger _and you expect me to have a friendly chat with you?"

Startled by her sudden aggressiveness, Adam answered:

"Well, I think you are more like a stranger to me, than I am to you!"

"I need to leave." she changed the subject and stood up. "Thanks again."

Something in her voice made him realize, that there was no point in trying to convince her to stay longer. Instead he said:

"I think I should come with you. You never know who's out there at night..."

"No, I'll be fine now."

She went out of his apartment without further words, leaving a very (fucking) confused Adam behind.

He thought a moment about what to do.

_I can't let her get away again, that would just result in agonizing over her for days!_

Adam decided to follow her, without her noticing. If he knew where she lived, he could at least talk to her again eventually.

_**- Amanda's POV -**_

Amanda headed back to the factory building. She didn't turn around a single time. _Damn, it's so late, John will ask what I've been doing!_

Of course she could just tell him, that she had lost track of the person she was supposed to find and therefore had to search him all night, but she was aware that John always knew when she was lying, he was just too polite to say something about it.

_Alright! Now I haven't only checked that Adam's alive, I also TALKED to him! Now I _won't _find any more excuses to see him secretly!_

She was quite glad that, from now on, she would (hopefully) be able to forget about him. At least, that was what she told herself.

But she felt like a voice in her head was screaming and wailing, trying to drown everything her reason told her:

_I don't _want _to forget him! I want to meet him again!_

The noise of steps behind her made her spin around. She didn't move for a few moments and listened. Now, there was absolute silence, so she started walking again, but spun around again after a few steps.

Amanda could make out the silhouette of a person, hiding in the shadows of the houses nearby.

"All right, Adam, come out!" she snapped. "I know you're there."

There was a brief silence, then the person he stepped out of the shadows.

"I cannot remember telling you my name..." he said, smiling triumphantly. "How do you know?"

She glared angrily back at him. She had caught him spying on her. Couldn't he at least _act _guilty?

"Get lost" she murmured half-heartedly.

"Why? I think it's more than fair that I learn at least where you live, since you seem to know some things that I did _not _tell you, too, don't you?"

_He wants to find out where I live? _she thought´, horrified. _No way! He certainly remembers the building where he escaped from! Once he finds out that I live there, he will know _everything_!_

"No!" she exclaimed. Adam's eyes widened, but he did not flinch.

Amanda's voice softened when she said: "You can't. There's a reason."

He continued smiling, irritating Amanda.

"Sorry, my dear rockstar-hair-girl, but there's nothing you can do to stop me!"

Amanda considered for a moment, if she could run away.

She turned away, ready to sprint, but he had already grasped her arm.

_Stupid idea!_

She took a deep breathe and looked into his eyes. They were sparkling with determination.

Amanda could almost feel her despair taking over and pleaded:

"PLEASE! Go home! Please, I beg you, you can't come with me!"

In her sudden hysteria, she felt her eyes well up with tears.

She felt so stupid as he looked at her, puzzled. He loosened his grip around her arm.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked, his voice sounded like something between concerned and confused.

_Yeah, what's the matter with me? _she thought, unable to answer. _Why am I overreacting so much? _

"Okay, I won't come with you!" Adam finally said.

"But I will only leave you alone if you promise to meet me again."

"Okay" she sobbed, but she did not hesitate to answer.

She would do anything to prevent him from finding out the truth about her.

He smiled delightedly, as though he wasn't expecting that she would give in that easily.

"Okay, can you come tomorrow?"

Amanda forced herself to calm down, before she answered.

"No, not that soon."

"How about... next weekend?"

She nodded. "All right."

"Well then... See you next weekend!" Still smiling, he turned around and went away. Amanda looked after him until the shadows seemed to swallow him completely.

_Actually, why DID I overreact?_ she asked herself again.

Deep inside, she knew the answer.

_Because he would hate me if he knew what I did._

_And I care about him, nearly as much as I care about John. I want to spare him any more suffering._

_...And because I ... kind of like him and if he hated me... that would be too much to bear... _


	11. Q&A

**Hey guys ^_^ Um... First of all, sorry for the looooong hiatus the fanfic has been on! I had no motivation for months :/ (+writer's block T.T)**

**Well, my almost-nonexistent creativity is back xD**

**Also, I think that Adam (also Amanda, but mostly Adam) was kind of out of character in some chapters :/ I will ****try**** to change that xD**

**Oh, by the way: The chapters will have titles from now on.**

**Thank you all for your reviews so far =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saw, blah bla...**

**Chapter 10**

The next few days, Amanda was almost able to act like nothing unusual had happened, thanks to John, who made her do a lot of other stuff she had to concentrate on, mainly helping him with new traps.

She was worried that John would find out about Adam, but more than that she was looking forward to the weekend. Though, due to her lack of sense of time, she often forgot which day of the week it was.

But somehow, when she woke up the next morning, she knew exactly, that it was Saturday.

Amanda got up hectically, because she wanted to leave before John would be awake. Leaving without telling him anything made Amanda feel guilty, but the thought that nothing _really _bad could happen, made her calm down a bit. At worst, he'd wonder why she had left without letting him know, but Amanda wasn't worried that he'd find out where she was going, because she left every now and then for a while and John never asked, because he knew he could trust her.

_Yeah, right, because he can TRUST me?_ _I am betraying his trust right now!_

Amanda tried to ignore her bad conscience, but she couldn't help feeling slightly bad for taking advantage of his trust in her, but more than anything else, she wanted to see Adam again.

_Don't get any ideas about him! _she told herself.

_It would be too dangerous!_

But as she met him a few minutes later in front of his apartment and looked into those friendly, but worried eyes, she knew it was already too late.

After a few moments, Amanda felt extremely awkward and didn't know what to say. Adam looked at the ground, as though lost for words. But moments later his eyes widened and he looked slightly shocked.

"FUCK!" The way he suddenly broke the silence made Amanda flinch back. Adam seemed to notice, that he had startled her and spoke a quick apology. Then he grubbed for something in his pants pockets and sighed.

"Crap, I think I forgot my key inside."

"Oh." Amanda couldn't suppress a smile, while he kept cursing with a mix of desperation and annoyance on his face. "Um... Do you have a spare key?" she asked.

Adam shook his head.

"No." he replied briefly.

_You mean, not anymore. _Amanda added in thoughts. She knew he once had a second key, that's how she got inside when she had to-

She forced herself to stop thinking about that night and was glad when Adam finally talked again.

"Well, maybe I'll find it later. Maybe not. Then I'm screwed. But that's my problem." He smiled, but Amanda could still glimpse a hint of annoyance in his eyes.

With sudden confidence, she said: "Let's go for a walk".

"Okay." Adam scratched his head "Where do you wanna go?"

Amanda shrugged. "No idea." Adam pretended to be shocked.

"Hey, don't make ME decide! Why would I know where to go?"

"Um, you kind of live here."

"Good point. Okay, I'll try, but let's first get out of here. You know, some unpleasant people live in this house..."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, junkies, drug dealers and all the kind of people you would usually avoid. But don't worry, if someone pisses you off, just tell them you know ME and they'll leave you alone." His grin gave away, that he was just kidding.

Once outside, they just aimlessly walked the streets. Amanda expected him to go to a park, or at least a slightly more silent place, but he was obviously so eager to ask her loads of questions, that he didn't consider where they were going.

"Um.. I know that last time we met, you said you couldn't answer the questions I had. Did you change your mind?"

Amanda would have loved to say yes. To tell him the truth about everything, if only the truth wasn't so terrible. Instead, she looked into his eyes, hoping he would understand. "No, I am sorry".

She meant it, but Adam turned away, maybe to hide the disappointment on his face.

"Okay." he gritted his teeth. "Okay, so I won't ask you again why you know more about me, than I know about you, but other questions are alright I guess?"

Amanda considered if she should agree, but then nodded. It was the least she could do.

Adam looked somewhat happier now. "Okay, I know that you, for some reason, don't want me to know where you live, but can you tell me if you live close-by?

"Yeah, not very far from here."

"Does that mean we could meet more often?"

Amanda bit her lip. "I'm not sure."

"Why?"

She tried to find an answer, that was close to the truth, but still wouldn't give too much away.

"I might... move."

That actually _was _the truth. She and John couldn't stay in one place forever, since it was only a matter of time until the police would find out where the "Jigsaw-killer" lives at the moment and then they would have no choice, but looking for another place to stay.

"Really? When?"

Amanda shrugged. "I don't know yet- and maybe I won't move at all."

Adam looked more depressed about her answer than she expected him.

"But... let me know if you leave."

She forced a smile to cheer him up. "Sure."

"Umm... Do you live alone?"

_Is this an indirect way to ask if I have a boyfriend?_

"You mean if I am single?" This way she avoided having to tell him about John.

"Err, I- I just wanted to know if-"

"Well, I _am _single."

Adam nodded- obviously a bit embarrassed- and quickly asked another question.

"So, do you work here in town?"

Amanda hesitated.

_Is assisting John actual "work"?_

She nodded though and suddenly felt the urge to ask _him_ questions, too.

Of course, some things she knew already, but she knew only something about Adam, because John told her and because she had _spied_ on him weeks ago. Also, even though Adam didn't really pass his test, he might have changed though. She decided to find out by asking him.

"What's _your_ job?" For a second she was afraid he was still working as a voyeur, but then she realized that he would not tell her, even if he _was_.

He sounded quite insecure as he replied: "I was- no, _am_ a photographer."

"What kind of photos do you take?" Amanda asked, but instantly regretted it. _Oh no, this question was stupid! It sounds as if I know he was a voyeur!_

Adam hesitated, but did not seem to find anything suspicious about this question.

"Well- I don't really take _any _photos at the moment. I had to stop with what I did before."

"Why?" _Ha! As if I didn't know._

"Um... My camera was broken."

Amanda had expected, that he wouldn't tell her the exact truth, but this straightforward lie surprised her- and she hated it.

_Whoa, why does it get to me so easily when he lies? It' not like _I _am really honest to _him _all the time!_

At least she knew now, that he probably stopped working as a voyeur.

"Why do you look so sad?" Adam asked her grinning and she didn't know if he was serious, or just trying to break their silence.

"I do? Sorry. Was just thinking"

She smiled- and didn't know if it was natural or forced. She didn't care.

Adam stopped walking and frowned. "Aren't you hungry? You know, we could go to my apartment and - oh, yeah right- the key." He stared at the ground with an irritated look on his face.

Amanda wondered how- _if_- she was able to help him.

"Did you leave any windows open?"

"No."

"Or is there a friend of yours with another key?"

"Nope."

"Aww no, you'll have to call a key service to open your door..."

Adam nodded, but didn't really seem content with that decision.

"Yeah, thought of that too, but... well, I don't really have that much money at the moment. It's not that I can't afford it, but... that whole thing still sucks!"

_If only he had a spare key under the doormat, like when I-_

Amanda froze. She had an idea. It was _crazy _and probably stupid, but she could help him, if it worked.

And she would have to get away from Adam for a while. How was she going to manage that?

She couldn't think of anything smart, so she said the first thing, that came to her mind.

"Um, listen, I have to go back now."

Adam looked at her, a little bit disappointed, but before he could say something, Amanda continued: "But only for a while! You know, it would take me too long to explain, so let's meet here, in thirty minutes."

She wondered if half an hour was enough to do what she was planning, but she couldn't take more time, because she had to make sure, that Adam wouldn't go back to his apartment.

"Okay, I'll wait here, I guess..." Adam muttered.

Amanda was relieved that her plan worked so far. Then she headed off to the factory building.

_What am I going to tell John? _

She pushed this worry to the back of her mind, while she entered her room. John was nowhere to be seen- yet. He had probably heard her and expected her now to tell him where she had been.

Amanda thought through the rest of her plan. _Oh, I hope I'll find it!_

When she asked Adam if he possesses a second key, she remembered, that she had found the key he _used _to hide under his doormat, when she kidnapped him.

She also remembered taking the key with her, in case she would have to go inside the apartment again.

What she _didn't _remember was where she put it. She opened every drawer and rummaged through all of her stuff.

_Where is this fucking key? Oh PLEASE, don't be in John's room!_

She was about to give up, when she had one more idea.

The only place where the key still could be was inside the pockets of the jeans she wore the day, when she helped John setting up the bathroom trap.

She opened a very small wardrobe ( she didn't own many clothes anymore) and ripped the jeans out. Before she could check the pockets, something dropped onto the ground: (she accidentally held the jeans upside down) It was the key.

Her heartbeat stopped for a second, then she picked the rusty key up and went quickly out of the room. She still had 10 minutes. Enough time to talk to John? She decided it would be better to go and see him - even if only for a few minutes.

She slowly entered his room, where he was working most of the time.

He was sitting at his desk, but immediately lifted his head, when she stepped inside.

"Hello Amanda." he said with a calm voice. "You have been... outside?"

She nodded slowly, just to gain a few more seconds to think about what to say. "Yeah... Sorry, did you need my help?"

He shook his head, though he obviously still wanted to hear, what she had been doing outside. When she kept being silent, he spoke quietly: "No, I'm okay at the moment. If you feel like going outside, then go, I shall not hold you back. I know how depressing this place can be."

Amanda gave him a grateful nod and smiled.

_Even though he knows I'm up to something, he pretends he doesn't care. He must really trust me._

Once more she felt very bad for betraying him.

Before her bad conscience could stop her, she quickly went outside to meet Adam again.

_He needs my help, too!_

She hurried up, even ran a few meters, but she was still five minutes late.

Adam seemed like he didn't move from the place where she had left him.

He looked somewhat annoyed and Amanda feared, that he was angry at her for leaving him there.

The annoyed look on his face vanished, when he saw her.

"Welcome back, lady!" he announced solemnly. She smiled at him, glad he was still in a good mood. "Thank you for waiting here." she said quietly, nearly whispering.

Adam shrugged. "No problem, it's not like I could go somewhere else... Well, I _would _invite you to my place, but, y' know, we can't get _inside_."

_Yes, we do! _she added in her thoughts. _I only have to convince him to go back there._

"Are you sure you forgot the key inside?"

He looked at her, puzzled.

Amanda continued: "You looked for it in your pockets and on the ground. You might have just not seen it, it's not very bright there."

He narrowed his eyes. "You think so? I'm pretty sure I checked everything."

"We should still go back and make sure it's really inside. Calling a lock and key service for nothing would be stupid."

Adam sighed. "Maybe you're right. Though I doubt that I dropped the key. But I have to go back anyway. Let's go."

She followed him back to his apartment. This time, they didn't talk so much.

It was noticeable, that Adam wished he knew where she had just been.

The uncountable amount of questions was unspoken, but Amanda could still feel it between them.

As soon as they had reached his apartment, Amanda waited until Adam looked away and dropped the key next to the door.

_Now he'll just have to find it..._

He checked his pockets again and then crouched down to search for the key on the ground. It took him only seconds to find it lying in the corner. "What. The. Hell?" he exclaimed and got up, holding the key up, examining it, as though trying to make sure it was real. "Look, you were right!"

Amanda smiled and acted surprised- probably not very believable, but Adam didn't notice. He was already unlocking the door and went inside.

When she hesitated to go inside, he asked her: "Um- You don't have to leave again, do you?" Amanda shook her head and quickly stepped inside. She glanced at the key in Adam's hand and froze in shock.

_FUCK! Why didn't I think of this before? If his key _really _was inside and if he will find it, he will know, that the key he just found isn't his real key and that _I _put it there!_

She spotted his other key on a small table and tried to figure out how she would be able to take it without him noticing- until she realized it was already too late.

"What the-" he gasped, his gaze wandered between the key in his hand and the one on the table. "But- but- HOW?"

Amanda's heart was racing and she wished she could just make herself disappear. Adam ran over to the table and picked up the "real" key.

After a few seconds of complete silence, he turned to Amanda, eyes narrowed.

"I don't _have_ a second key!"

Amanda bit her lip. "Um. But it looks like you _do _have one... M-maybe you forgot, that you have a-"

"NO, I don't think so. You wanna know why?" Adam looked angry.

He took a step towards her, when he continued talking in a cold and accusing voice. "Something really strange happened to me last month. Actually it was the worst and most terrible thing, that ever happened to me- and the only spare key I had, has disappeared since that night. Because someone broke into my apartment that night and fucking _kidnapped _me!"

Amanda didn't want to listen anymore- she already knew what he was going to say.

"This person had _my_ key- up until now!"

_Shut up! Shut up!_

"Amanda..." he took one more step towards her and made her flinch backwards. "Are you the one who-"

Before he could finish the sentence, tears dwelled up in her eyes, her shaking knees gave in to gravity and made her crouch on the ground, her back leaning against the wall. She started crying. Her pitiful sobbing shut him up.


	12. Revelation

**Chapter 11**

Adam looked down on her, lost for words. There she was- his kidnapper, the reason of his insomnia and paranoia. The person he should hate the most. Actually he should be fucking _afraid _of her. But he wasn't. How could he possibly be afraid, _she_ was the one, who looked terrified.

"God, this is so fucking wrong!" he cursed, but something made him actually feel sympathy for her. He helped her get up to her feet again, just to make her sit down on his sofa. Afterwards he tried to figure out what to do now- but her crying made it impossible for him to think.

"STOP FUCKING CRYING" It was already too late, when he realized he shouldn't have said that- it just made her crying worse. "Please, don't cry." he said, finally he was self-controlled again. Though he wasn't sure if Amanda even listened.

Unable to think clearly while she was present, he left her sitting there and went into his bedroom.

_It just doesn't make sense! She clearly is the one, who kidnapped me, but why was she so... nice to me? Well, she _was _secretive, but never acted like she meant any harm to me..._

He suddenly remembered, that Jigsaw had people eho worked for him... Like Zep. Even though he hated remembering this guy- because it always made him relive the moment of how he had smashed Zepp's head with the toilet lit- he thought about what Zep's tape had said:

"_Zep. I want you to make a choice. There's a slow-acting poison coursing through your system, which only I have the antidote for. Will you murder a mother and her child to save yourself?_"

_That's it! Zep was helping Jigsaw involuntarily! He was forced to kill Lawrence's family if he failed, because he was tested himself!_

_What if Amanda was forced to kidnap me, too? Now it all makes sense!_

He rushed out of his bedroom and was surprised that Amanda was still sitting on his sofa. He had expected her to leave as soon as she had the chance. She had stopped crying, but a shiver ran through her from time to time.

"Amanda, I understand it all now!" he said almost cheerfully. She looked up at him, her eyes still a bit bloodshot.

"You were _forced _to break into my apartment and kidnap me, right?"

"Wh-what?" she stammered.

"You had to, because that fucking Jigsaw-killer gave you no other choice! You never really wanted to help him in the first place!"

He hoped to see relief in her eyes, he just wanted her to say his theory was true. But she only reacted by shaking her head slowly, her gaze empty and sorrowful at the same time. She waited a few moments, then she took a deep breath and said: "No... No, Adam, I'm sorry, but... You're wrong."

He just stared at her in disbelief. "WHAT? YOU - YOU-"

"I'm ready to explain it all to you. If you still want to listen."

He didn't reply instantly, so she added: "I understand if you just want me to leave and never see me ag-"

"No, go ahead." He interrupted her. "I'm listening. But you'd better have a good reason for spying on me _and_ kidnapping me - _voluntary_."

He was serious, but he still hoped to ease the tension by making an empty thread.

He sat down, ready to listen to whatever she would tell him.

"In one point you were right: It was me who broke into your apartment to... kidnap you."

Adam forced himself to stay calm- even though it seemed to be the hardest thing in the world right now _not _toscream at her- and nodded. "I KNOW, but _why_?"

She closed her eyes for a while. Was she thinking about how she was going to explain it all to him?

"Adam, I know what happened to you in that bathroom. It was a game set up by Joh- err, _Jigsaw_." She spit the word "Jigsaw" out, almost sounding hostile, but continued before Adam could say something.

"I've played, too- and I passed my test."

Adam looked more than surprised. "Are you kidding me! You look perfectly fine to me! I can't see, that _you _cut off your foot... or any other limb!"

Amanda stared at him furiously. "How do _you _know what I had to do? How do _you _know, what I had to sacrifice in order to survive?"

Adam flinched, startled by her sudden aggressiveness. "Okay, okay, relax!" He apologized half-heartedly, but her eyes remained cold.

"For your information, I had to cut _someone else _open, to prevent my head from being ripped into halves!"

"Holy fuck..." Adam muttered. "That sick Jigsaw-bastard!"

He saw her eyes narrowing a bit, nearly unnoticeable.

"You never asked _why_ I was put into the trap..."

Adam shrugged. "It doesn't matter, right? It's still sick, for whatever reason!"

"It _DOES _matter!" Amanda hissed. She took another deep breath to calm down.

"I was a junkie- before I survived the game. I was clean after the test."

Adam frowned, slowly getting impatient. "Yeah, I've heard of people, who changed after their 'test', but I still think it was-" he stopped as he noticed her angry glare.

"Whatever, go on."

"The first few days after the test, I was scared and couldn't stop thinking of what I had done- I _killed _someone. But even more often I thought about what would have happened, if I _hadn't_. With every day, no, every _second_, that passed, I realized more and more, that so-called "Jigsaw" helped me. He even came to talk to me-"

"What, Jigsaw?"

"His name is _John_, by the way! And he is _not_ a killer!"

_Crap, she seems to _adore _him! _Adam thought, somewhat annoyed by the way she seemed to worship him, while he himself just wanted to send that bastard to hell.

"So, did _John _also ask you to kidnap me?" he realized, that he sounded more condescending than he had intended to and wasn't surprised when she shot him an angry glare once more.

"First of all, he asked me to become his apprentice."

"What the fuck, this guy has apprentices? Ha, and I thought _one _Jigsaw is one too much on this world!"

Amanda clenched her fists, but ignored his last sentence.

"There's a reason why he needs an apprentice!" she replied in a sharp voice. Adam noticed how she was getting more and more irritated and decided to keep quiet from now on.

"I agreed. He became my teacher and father at the same time. You might not understand my motives for doing that, but I trusted him. And I still trust him with my life. He explained his work to me, why he started and why he uses... _this _method. And you know what? It all made sense to me! From that day forward I helped him with all my power, in exchange for saving my life." She closed her eyes before going on. "Unfortunately, that included kidnapping you. And Dr. Gordon."

She opened her eyes again, revealing endless grief. "Adam, I helped setting up the bathroom game... _your _test."

Adam froze. He wanted to scream and was lost for words at the same time. He didn't want to believe it. Believe. that it was her fault he almost died.

He recalled the moment when he first met her. Just a few hours before he woke up in a bathroom, chained to a pipe.

When he asked her if he would see her at a concert (for which he had to give flyers around) she had replied 'Probably not'. Now he knew why.

For some reason, Adam found the situation ironic. He hadn't been able to sleep in the last few nights, fearing his kidnapper would return. If he had known, that this 'kidnapper' wasn't terrifying at all, if he had known, that it was the woman, who was now crouching on his sofa, looking miserable and pitiful, he would not have been so paranoid in the past weeks.

He was aware of the guilt Amanda tried to hide so desperately, as she avoided eye contact. Even though he hadn't gotten over her story yet, he couldn't stand seeing her like this and it felt right to cheer her up.

_Why the heck do I even care about her? I should hate her, right? Hell, whatever..._

"You know, If I didn't already know you're speaking the truth, I'd find it hard to believe you! You don't act like someone, who is able to kidnap people. Not even like a criminal, let alone like a serial killer's apprentice! Wait, I know, what you're going to say: 'He's not a serial killer!' Whatever, I don't care."

She didn't react at all.

"Come on, don't be so depressed. I'm not that... surprised." he lied.

Amanda looked finally up at him. "Really? How did you..?"

Adam sighed. "Okay, who am I kidding, I _am _surprised and still pretty shocked, but I think there's a positive thing about that story!"

"Which is?" she asked expectantly.

"Well, there are actually a lot of positive aspects: One: My kidnapper is female. Two: The pig-mask is actually a lot more terrifying than the person hiding behind it."

"Hey, what do you mean by the 'female' part?" Amanda asked, pretending to be offended. Adam grinned. "Hey, no offense, but you wouldn't be able to kidnap me again. I almost hit you with my baseball bat the last time, remember?"

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure. I already _did _kidnap you. Who says I couldn't do that a second time?"

"Ha, last time you were just lucky. And you used a sneaky surprise attack!"

Amanda raised her eyebrows, but didn't object.

"Okay, back to the topic: Three: I got my key back. Four-" he hesitated.

"So, what's the fourth one?" Amanda asked, smiling.

"Well... Four: I made friends with my kidnapper." He sounded very insecure and hoped Amanda thought so, too.

She smiled and said: "Good point. So I guess you don't have to be afraid of me, right?" she said in a mocking voice.

"Afraid of YOU? Never. You should have kept that pig mask to look at least a bit more scary!" he replied casually, but on the inside he was cheering.

_She DOES think we are friends! Though, I must be fucking mental to make friends with my kidnapper, but... what does it matter now? _

He still had some questions to ask and decided it would be best to ask now, since Amanda seemed to be in a better mood now.

"Hey, there's still one thing I want to ask you. Well, two things actually:

Does Jigs- sorry, _John_ know you are here? And why am I still alive? I didn't really pass my test!"

Amanda's smile vanished. "John... No, he doesn't know. And I shouldn't be here. I should have never met you after your escape from the trap. For now, it will be better if we stop seeing each other. You know now what you wanted to find out. As for your other question-"

"Wait... What do you mean? Stop seeing each other? I feel like we just started to have a _honest _conversation and you just want to cut contact?"

While he spoke, Amanda raised from the sofa and went to the door, but still turned around to face him again.

"I don't _want _to. I HAVE to. It's John. He mustn't know I've seen you. But I can't bear to lie to him anymore. I've already told you more than I should have, so _please _Adam, don't make this harder than it is!" she pleaded.

Adam nodded reluctantly. "Okay. I don't like it, but I respect it, if that's how you want it to be. Remember I'm thankful, that you told me the truth."

Amanda smiled. "Maybe we _will _meet again, just not so soon, okay?"

He just nodded.

_She's just trying to get my hopes up. To make me think we will meet again, until the time comes, when I won't care anymore. She wants to forget about me, I can see it in her eyes. But _I_ won't. I swear, I will not forget _her_._

She was about to step outside and close the door behind her, when she turned around once more. "I don't know if it will help you, but I can assure you, that you are safe here." she reassured. "No one apart from me knows you are here. So don't worry."

"Okay. Thanks." he replied.

Her words comforted him more than he would admit.

Even though he hated the thought, that he might not see her again, he felt content. He even was finally able to sleep without having nightmares.

But when he woke up in the morning, the feeling of contempt only lasted for a few minutes- until he realized in shock, that Amanda didn't give him an answer to the question, that has been on his mind for weeks.

_Why am I still alive?_


	13. Bad Distractions

**Heya :D **

**Sorry that this chapter isn't very long ^^''**

**I kind of think some parts of the story were little bit repeating themselves, but the pointless monologues shall end with the end of this chapter xD I *hope*!**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

When Amanda was on her way back to John, the sky was already darkened. She had stayed longer at Adam's place than she had intended to.

_Damn it! I will just make something up to tell John! It will be the last time I'll ever lie to him, for I will make sure to not see Adam again! It's better for both of us._

A few minutes later, she was sitting on the desk of her room, her head lying on her arms. She was tired, but didn't want to sleep yet. Instead she felt the need to talk to John first. However, at the same time she didn't have the courage to face him right now, since she was afraid he would see through her lies. So she waited in her room for an hour, alternating between going to sleep, or taking courage to go to John.

She didn't have to choose: Moments later she was suddenly aware of her mentor's presence behind her. She took a deep breath and turned to face him. She expected him to have a serious, accusing or at least his typical judgmental look on his face, but he just looked tired. "You've been away for some time." he said, matter-of-factly and coughed immediately after it.

Guilt shot through Amanda. "I'm sorry. I just needed to get away from here! Just one day... It was not a very good idea."

John nodded in silence. "I don't mind you leaving for a while. But be careful."

_He's just being polite. He knows I've done something I shouldn't have done. _

"Thank you." she whispered, _for not asking questions _she added in her thoughts.

"You seem to be tired John. You'd better go to sleep. I'll promise I will help you with everything tomorrow."

Even though Amanda felt exhausted, she wasn't able to fall asleep. She recalled the memories of the past day in her mind and still remembered every moment, every word, every sensation.

It was like she was reliving the whole day: The meeting with Adam, how she had tried to help him, what turned out to end up in disaster and how she had told him everything.

_Everything. _

_Why? _

_I don't remember._

_It was appropriate, right? He found out anyway._

_What if I had never tried to get the key for him in the first place?_

_Then he wouldn't know the truth._

_Would that be a good or a bad thing?_

_I don't know. Don't know anything anymore. All I know is, that I betrayed John. AND Adam. And there's nothing I could have done to avoid lying to at least one of the persons I really care about. _

_But I did the worst thing I could possibly do: I lied to _both_ of them. First to Adam, then to John._

Still unable to sleep, she wondered what had prevented her from telling Adam, that she was not only the person who had kidnapped him, but also the one who saved him in the end.

_I guess it was far too high a risk, that he would remember, that I only freed him, because I wasn't able to suffocate him!_

The last thing she wanted now, was that Adam knew she almost killed him.

_No, there's NO way he is ever going to find out about this!_

When she finally fell asleep, she dreamt of sneaking out again.

She silently went to Adam's apartment, but instead of Adam, another person opened the door- it was John.

She woke up, her heart racing.

"Fuck." she sighed. _So, first I had nightmares, because I did NOT help Adam. Now I have nightmares because I HELPED him! Holy crap, is there anything I can do RIGHT for once?_

**Adam's POV**

Adam tried hard not to think too much for the next few days. He listened to music, watched TV and eventually went outside.

But in the evenings, when he wasn't able to sleep, he couldn't help thinking of the past weeks. The memories made him shiver and his stomach was churning with anxiety.

_Come, on, you're ALIVE! _he told himself.

_It's the best thing that could've happened to me, after all that shit!_

_So WHY can't I just be grateful for that?_

He knew the answer to his question. Too much had happened during the past few weeks. Important events, beside which even the luck to have escaped a Jigsaw-trap paled into insignificance.

Every evening when he would finally fell asleep- _if _he fell asleep- nightmares would haunt him and when he would wake up, he wouldn't remember any of them- he'd just feel even more exhausted.

After days of paranoia, insomnia and depression he realized, that his life wasn't worse than it used to be- it was still the same big fuck-up, the only difference was, that he was now _aware_ of that. And it fucking killed him.

_Life was so much more bearable when I never thought about it so much! When I never really _felt _anything._

_Jigsaw called it 'dead on the inside'. But why should I appreciate my life, if the only thing that I feel now is pain?_

Adam had stopped wondering what the point in leaving his apartment was as he strolled through the streets once again. It had become a habit to let his thoughts wander. He had forgotten how much time he had spent outside, when he entered the stairway that led to his apartment. Whilst going upstairs he heard someone calling his name behind him, making him jerk to a halt.

"Hey Adam!"

He sprang around and instantly recognized the person who had spoken.

Scott Tibbs.

His 'best friend' when he was younger. _Much _younger. They had met at the age of five and ever since then, this guy had bullied- no _tormented _him. Scott was the guitarist of a band called 'Wrath of the Gods' and the last time they had met, Scott had asked- no, _ordered _thatAdam should make the photos for the new album cover. He never got to make these photos- basically because he was chained to a pipe on the appointed day.

"How_ unexpected _to see you're still alive!" Scott said sarcastically. "You know, on TV they said you died! So I came here to see for myself and find out you are VERY FUCKING ALIVE!"

"So?" was everything Adam could say, still being completely perplexed.

"SO? Well, where should I start: First of all, you didn't show up for the photo shoot. You know, I was planning to kill you, but then I found out you ARE already dead! Also, I know you've been caught in a _Jigsaw-trap_..."

Adam hated the amused tone in Scott's voice when he spoke the word 'Jigsaw'.

"You survived and didn't even tell me? Come on, I'm your best friend!"

The way he said 'best friend' couldn't have sounded more like a death threat.

Before Adam could think of something to say, Scott took a few steps towards him.

"There's something you should now: I'm pretty fucking pissed at you! But you're lucky, that I lost interest in killing you- I'm much more interested in this fucking Jigsaw-killer case. The moment I heard about that guy I just _knew_ I had to find out more! And who could be a better source of information than _you_, my friend?"

Adam's breath caught. "Um, y'know, I'm sorry, Scott, I have nothing to tell y-" "DIDN'T YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?" Adam found himself being pressed against the wall. His attempts to push Scott away turned out to be futile. He'd always hated Scott's aggressiveness (at the age of six he had stabbed him with a rusty nail!).

The look on Scott's face was close to pure insanity as he said:

"You are going to tell me _everything_ you know about that sick fucker, got it?"

Adam finally managed to free himself and took a few steps backwards.

He quickly considered how dangerous the situation really was and came to the conclusion not to do what Scott wanted.

This guy was aggressive and often pretty violent, but he wouldn't dare hurting a person really badly let alone killing someone.

"Get real!" Adam sighed. "We're not friends anymore, we never really were in the first place. Now fuck off!"

Scott snarled, but didn't make another attempt to attack Adam.

"I always knew you are a wimp. The first thing I remember thinking when I met you is 'What a fucking pussy'. Now you aren't even thankful that I tried to toughen you up?"

Adam's annoyance was replaced by sudden irritation. He wouldn't listen to this shit any longer! Instead of replying, he went to the entrance of his apartment.

"Okay then, you little fucker, if you aren't going to tell me what you know, then I will ask this chick, who has been around your apartment in the last few weeks! Who is she, ya girlfriend?"

Adam unlocked the door and sighed. "I have no idea what you are talking ab-" he suddenly froze. Then he turned around again, just to see Scott smiling a triumphant smile.

"Wait, you mean- you- no... _Amanda_?" Panic rose in his chest. If Scott had seen her around, he might have also seen where she lives- _Oh fuck, NO! _

Scott shrugged. "Whatever her name is. But I guess she knows whatever you won't tell me." He pulled a knife out of his pocket and stroked the blade with the tip of his finger.

Adam shook his head in disbelief. "No, I know you wouldn't do that to her."

Scott grinned and looked up from his knife. "Yeah, but _she _doesn't."

And with that he turned around to leave.

"NO WAIT!" Adam shouted out. "Okay, fine, I will tell you whatever you want to know." he said. While he tried to sound as determined as possible, his eyes betrayed how concerned he actually was.

_You fucking bastard!_ he added in his thoughts, but it didn't help him feel any better.

* * *

**Hey, have any of you seen the Scott Tibbs documentary?**

**(a stupid question, I guess, as most of you probably have... right?)**

**Well, for those of you, who don't: Scott Tibbs is some extremely weird guy and he's "friends" with Adam (Adam tells Dr. Gordon how he stabbed him with a rusty nail xD You can really feel the love of their friendship :'D ).**

**After finding out about Adam's death he decides to "investigate" in the Jigsaw-case... **

**When I saw it I was like 'YAY I just HAVE to involve Scott Tibbs in my fanfic :D **

**(By the way, you can find it on YouTube, if you haven't seen it already)**


End file.
